Be attentive (just for today, maybe?)...

It's 5 am on the last day of June, today;

One half of the year is beginning to end.

I have a coffee cup waiting to cool;

That's just the way I like it.

I find myself wishing, not wanting dawn to come;

But I'm learning to look forward just the same.

I'm eager for dreams to come true,

New happinesses to find, more lives to touch,

Healing to envelop the world and it's people;

I'm making newer promises,

I'm forgiving and sending showers of blessings,

I'm asking God to lead me to Light.

Live with you, for you- you're amazing!

The slightest change can shake your foundation;

But even a rocking ship does come to a halt.

When you're embarrassed of yourself,

When being you feels like social suicide,

When trying desperately to erase your actions,

When nothing anyone says helps;

THINK.

I like sitting by myself at night to just reflect.

The beauty of the night, for me, being that I'm alone;

Alone with my thoughts, feelings and God.

I'm as unadulterated and pure as I can be.

Are you sure you know them?

If you're being honest with yourself, you'll know;

You can never know anyone else inside out.

You can never guarantee someone else's actions.

Best friends, relationships and childhood friends-

They all exist and may still dominate your world.

But even in the closest bond, there is a space;

A space so deep, so secret, so private.

Your thoughts, intuitions, faith, trust and beliefs;

They'd all fail to map this area between your souls.

Do I mean to upset you by talking about this, today?

No! I don't.

Open up your mind to unconditional love.

It doesn't matter whether you know the whole truth.

The answer to "Who did that?"

There are times when trivial issues harass you;

And nothing that you do seems to be working.

You probably feel annoyed, angry, hurt or stupid.

Your attempts at meditation might also backfire.

But even at the worst moments, a spark lights you up.

Unexpectedly, suddenly, you're freed of every burden.

How, what, when, why- you might never know.

In fact, even the person helping you may not realize.

Behind-the-scenes action happens in real life, too. :)

Take a breather

Sometimes, it is best to just slow down a bit.

Where there is love and faith,

There ain't no room for stress and mental clutter.

Ask yourself- question the impossible, if you will;

What if the Lord makes a mistake with your life?

What if He is unable to deliver?

Will you still trust Him as much?

Or Is your love part of a bargain offer?

No, you aren't losing your mind.

It is okay to want to sort the facts out for yourself.

How does it feel?

How does it feel to step into the ocean and stand?

Do you fear getting sucked in, disappearing into sand;

As it slips swiftly and precariously beneath your feet?

Do you hyperventilate; thinking, now you're surely beat?

Do you cry out loud; struggling, to safety return?

Or Do you relish coarse sand-grains, deftly as they turn;

Gushing in the tide, through gaps between your toes?

Do you embrace the love, feeling the touch that knows?

They're right and so are you!

We feel bored, lethargic, sad and confused so often;

It's enlightening when you know YOU can change it all.

I've been reflecting on my past for a while.

I've been thinking about the people who knew me then.

Everybody has varying opinions of me as a person.

And they're right, in all that they're thinking.

I've lived with no self-love for long.

Do I regret things I've said or done? Yes.

But I am definitely, evidently gentler with myself.

I am learning, each day, to appreciate my journey.

Take control of your life

When things start taking a turn for the ugly,

When your gadgets seemingly give up on you,

When you can't fathom where you're headed,

When you're holding on with all you can;

Know that your life is mirroring your emotions.

You're feeling every single one of those things.

Why? Go figure!

If you can't comprehend your role in any of this though,

Don't worry; this isn't to thrust blame or guilt on you.

Accept and welcome calmness into your life.

What you visualize will definitely turn true for you.

You're doing this for YOU

When things go wrong, don't blame someone else.

When you've done more than you could, to better things;

Know that you did them for you, for your mental peace.

Yes, your expectations fall apart;

Your efforts seem wasted and you probably cry, too.

But when you hold back your tears and ask for help,

Set aside the arguing and shouting voices in your head;

Listen- listen to that one true inner voice.

Notice the peace it carries with it.

Think about the one you've fought with; ask yourself-

Has this person ever loved you sincerely?

Have your hearts felt that special connection?

Will you ever be able to let go of them?

New beginnings will explain themselves

When you step into too many boats, at once;

It doesn't imply that you're about to drown.

Maybe you're special.

Maybe you'll go on to conquer uncharted territory.

Maybe you're accomplishing every step of a divine Plan.

Maybe you'll teach people to judge less and do more.

Don't clip your wings.

Don't hide your attempts, when you dream of flying.

Fear is for the dishonest, for those who cheat.

Nobody else cares about the secrets you guard.

Do you ponder for hours about theirs?

Break free- you'll surprise yourself!

It is weird when you always have all the answers;

Yet, you struggle, in the dark, to find yours, isn't it?

You're working on it, but tire out mentally, too soon.

Take a moment's break.

Break away from the anguish, confusion and fear.

I see an inimitable, bright spark in you.

I see your peppy, excited self that craves challenges.

Let it jump up, come to the fore and be the leader!

You've been allowing the shadows to mask your glory.

STOP.

What does your heart think?

When you look into His eyes and know,

No other could ever look at you, this way;

Is it the sculptor's trumpet to blow?

Or Is it His presence, promising, with you to stay?

When you return His gaze, upon you fixated,

Instead of shifting shyly, your eyes not meeting;

Is it you that hath your self-confidence berated?

Or Is it Him, lessons on faith, teaching?

When you're free of every embarrassment,

In the whole duration that you're just with Him;

Can anybody ever match that sentiment?

Or Of His love, is this only the rim?

Take a walk along the beach of life

Look closely at your relationships.

Each bond has a story; a love that cannot be re-created.

Examine the strands you're holding in your hands.

Gently caress the care, the goodness and the kindness.

Maybe you're blocking some paths, unwittingly.

Maybe you're gripping tightly, the key to your life.

Maybe you're hindering another's growth and freedom.

Open your clenched fist and let go.

Let the hurt, the mistrust, the anger flow.

Feel the love radiating from your heart.

Give freely your forgiveness, your hugs and your smiles.

See it all seeping into space; touching countless lives.

BE all that you want to become

There are so many things you want to be.

It's a pity you aren't there already, isn't it?

You've been thinking about your future so much-

I bet you feel like you can reach out and touch it.

Shed off your sadness; I'm going to cheer you up! :)

Go on!

Poke your head into the cloud where your dreams live.

What do you see yourself doing?

Are you working really hard and doing yourself proud?

Are you mighty efficient, ever-joyous and overzealous?

Are you beautiful, bright, sparkly, loving and fun?

Are you witty, funny, cute, kind and intelligent?

Right the wrongs in time for war

You've been allowing the paperwork to scare you.

Realize that you're fumbling and falling in self-doubt.

What are you unsure of?

Do you not work as hard as the others?

Are you not as good at your work?

Why do you think they won't appreciate YOU as much?

Do you think you're less presentable?

Work on it then!

Why visualize an uncomfortable setting?

In considering yourself undeserving, you're being foolish.

The clearing in the clouds

There are so many goals, that I thrive to complete,

But with fear looming large, my heart stifles a beat;

So many dreams, in each breath, I long to fulfill,

The uncertainty dangles, screaming loud and shrill.

The to-do-lists in my head, spill onto a million pages,

Overwhelming me as I add, I wish I could rip the cages.

The foam atop my coffee, I watch as it disappears,

Taking with it my burdens, the mountain of my fears;

"There is room for more, your cup won't overflow",

A hopeful voice in my heart calls- soft, firm and mellow.

Let your soul dance in the spotlight

We're all pretenders, in one way or another.

No, it ain't our fault- society demands it.

I've battled social phobia for long.

I still do.

I sing all day, but not if you ask me to.

I write, shying from the embarrassment of being judged.

"All the world's a stage", Shakespeare quoted.

How do you live then, if you've got stage-fright?

You could take deep breaths.

You could give yourself a pep talk.

You could pace about the place rapidly.

You could faint in the midst of a panic attack.

I pray.

Truths aren't only for diaries

As humans, we learn fast, the art of diplomacy.

We grow up realizing that honesty doesn't matter.

Your relationships begin to matter a lot more.

Everybody's opinion of you takes precedence.

It becomes important to be THE favorite, doesn't it?

Sugarcoating your sentences,

Oohing and ahhing over stuff you don't even care about,

Spending hours of your valuable energy pacifying people,

Convincing them that they're right in all they're doing;

Trivial lies, Impossible-to-maintain friendships,

Hard-earned relationships, A happy puppet-

I'll admit that that was me.

Come out and play in the sun

It is so easy to hide behind a pair of glasses, isn't it?

I know what I've always equated that look of mine with.

It helped me look geeky and boring.

I reached out to them everytime I felt unpretty.

The ugliness I felt was not so much about the outside.

It was related to the embarrassment I felt within.

I was embarrassed about every little thing I did.

Things I had said light-years earlier to someone else,

My excessive chatter, Their watchful silence-

It all reverberated in my ears, exploding my head.

I just wanted to melt into the background, literally.

How "okay" with it are you?

Being practical is so much more breathable.

There is no respect for heartfelt drama, honestly.

You've just got to grow up and be there for you.

If friends don't respond as you would like them to-

Know that they're probably going through a phase.

Give them the space they need.

It's pointless brooding over abnormal happenings.

If someone doesn't appreciate your sincerity-

Chuck them into the first thrash can down the street.

Rescue yourself and ride away

Sometimes, a tiny little shock works beautifully.

It jerks you out of your people pleasing habit.

It delivers the slap that will change your life.

It turns your head to where you ought to be looking.

No, you aren't doing nothing for nobody.

You're here for YOU.

The world may come and go- not you!

It doesn't matter what you should be doing.

It doesn't matter what is deemed acceptable.

What do YOU want?

How do YOU feel?

Is there something you can do better for yourself??

Stronger, better, nicer- Is that You?

Still the tears.

Lock them tight.

The vulnerable part of you metamorphoses, today.

Celebrate this epic moment in your life.

You might have been an emotional mess.

Now, not!

You're strong, beautiful, sensible and classy.

Free the wings you had kept tied together for so long.